(And the pact I just made with myself.)

Just the other day, as I was cooking dinner and sipping wine, a song came up on shuffle. A somewhat obscure song that had been introduced to me by an old friend. He and I had not spoken in ages but I decided then and there to shoot him a quick message, reminding him of the song and his role in my musical evolution.  

He was delighted to hear from me and said so, claiming I had “made his day”.

And so I got to thinking … why don’t we make other people’s days more often? Why don’t we slip out of our comfort zones more readily and reach out when someone not in our daily purview crosses our mind? If there is a positive connection to be made and it takes only a few moments and a willingness to make it, why don’t we?

I decided then and there to make a pact with myself. Henceforth, if someone crosses my mind, or a song comes up remembering when, or ANYTHING transpires that inspires commendation, I WILL reach out. I will be fearless. And I will try to make someone’s day.

I connect with musicians regularly to share how much meaning their music brings to my life. I do this with musicians I know and also those I don’t (social media helps). I do this because I know exactly how it feels when someone does it to me. A few years ago, I received via Facebook a photo of an old 45 I had sold in clubs a million years ago. An original called The Wedding Song. The woman who sent the photo still treasured the song and was thrilled to have located me after all these decades. She was even more thrilled when I sent her a digitized version of that very song. After all, every good deed deserves another.

This past summer I had the chance work with a wonderfully talented musician named Marco Luciani. Little did I know he had also co-written my absolute favourite Alfie Zappacosta original – a song called “Oz”. When I learned this fact a couple of days ago, I immediately texted him (Marco, not Alfie) … just because I wanted him to know how much that song means to me.

It took me less than a minute. I think he was quite pleased to hear from me. I mean seriously, who isn’t pleased when they are made to feel special? Validated? Seen?

Well, as it turns out, not everyone. In my newfound zeal to “make someone’s day” I contacted an old love to ask about his birthday. I wanted to send him happy wishes and I could not remember the exact date. I also asked him if he was a “lyric guy” because a) I wanted to send him a song and b) I could not remember (or perhaps I never knew).

His eloquent response: “So many questions.”

Oh.

Okay.

This is probably why so many of us do NOT reach out. Fear of rejection. Fear of being ignored. Fear of overstepping. Fear.

And so we decide it is better to do and say nothing and continue residing in our safe little bubble. Better that than receiving a cold response (or none at all).

Fuck that.

I can personally attest to the fact that 99% of all people will be thrilled to hear from you and yes, you will in fact make their day. That one person who is a dick? Well, they were a dick before you attempted to connect and they will be a dick long after … it just doesn’t have to be your concern. YOUR concern can very simply be that you TRIED to do the right thing. Something nice. Something kind. Something meaningful.

We cannot choose how people will respond to any gesture we make. But I do believe we should continue to choose to make them. Because the world is a pretty crazy place these days and whatever positivity we can inject and whatever smiles we can trigger … yay us!

I have another old love (and this one goes way back to my teens) and every now and then, out of the blue, he sends me a little message to inform me that I am still sexy and still one of the great loves of his life. We live a country apart, are both firmly ensconced in other relationships and haven’t seen each other in many, many years. But it matters not. He still takes the time to share his truth and make my day. And boy oh boy, do I ever smile when that message shows up.

So why don’t we all just play the odds? Perhaps for every possible bungle (and that is on THEM, not you) you will experience a million wins. But you can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket.

So next time you’re thinking about someone fondly, reach out and tell them. Let that person know how they have impacted your life. Share a memory, a photo or a song. Start doing this daily or weekly or monthly.

Just start doing it. I guarantee you will create a lot of smiles and maybe even a few happy tears. So please, just go ahead …

Make someone’s day.