Last week I was conversing with a friend, trying to inspire her to take a big leap outside of her comfort box to attract a potential new love. She was ever reluctant and I was ever forceful. “Why not?” I asked. “What have you got to lose?”

She remained immovable. It was all too daunting. Frightening. Potentially humiliating (I guess).

I kept hammering (who me?). Look at “Travis Kelce!” I exclaimed. “By all reports he was desperate to meet Taylor Swift and he just kept at it until he finally did!”

She looked at me like I had suddenly sprouted a second head and moaned, “He is a star football player!”  Like that explained everything.

But to me it did not. So I calmy responded, “You are not exactly insignificant.” (She is a highly successful, vibrant and beautiful woman.)

And that is when it hit me.

If you see yourself as being insignificant, then you will be insignificant. You are only as compelling as you think you are. You are only as important as you imagine yourself to be. You are only as powerful as you yourself feel. You create the roadmap to how others perceive you.

When I finished university and one summer of professional theatre, I had no idea how to approach the rest of my life. I was a musical theatre actress, yes, but I was also a singer/songwriter with dreams of becoming the next Carole King. So I sent a letter (good old days!) to the biggest local talent booking agency, offering them one last stab at my glorious future before I relocated to Hollywood to claim my rightful place on the Walk of Fame. It was a very funny, tongue-in-cheek missive and it worked! They were putting together a touring band that required a female singer and that singer turned out to be me!

My audacity paid off. My chutzpah was rewarded. I became significant because I treated myself as significant.

The flipside?

Joey needs a new job. His dream job becomes available. In Hawaii (where everyone wants to work). So, Joey doesn’t even apply. Because he is absolutely certain he will not win the competition. He is exactly as insignificant as he treats himself. How could Hawaii even know about him if he does not even attempt to sell himself and his talents?

Beth wants to write a book. She starts and stops a million times and ultimately gives up, assuming that she is just not cut out for author-hood. She doesn’t look for help or approach any publishers or find an editor. She simply quits. Because she is exactly as insignificant as she treats herself. But what if that book could have been a best-seller?

Bob has a troubled relationship with his grown kids, primarily because he left their mother (and them) when they were young. Their rapport is now civilized but not terribly warm and he longs for a more fulfilling bond. But what if they reject him? What if they are not interested in anything more? What if he ruins what little they have by requesting extra?

Bob chooses to do nothing. Perhaps because he feels he is unworthy. He is exactly as insignificant as he treats himself.

You see how this goes, right?

Louise decides she’d like to work on radio. As an announcer. She has no schooling or training but she believes she can do it so she works her connections until somebody offers her a job. With still no schooling and very little training, Louise finds herself on the air, winging every moment and having a ball. She tells her boss she wants to work ALL the time because she has every intention of getting very good very fast. The more practice she can get, the better. Boss is happy to oblige because it’s summertime and everybody wants holidays. Everybody except Louise. Louise just wants to be on the air.

Four months later Louise is offer a job co-hosting one of the top morning shows in Canada. Because Louise is exactly as significant as she treated herself. Louise believed in herself, in her worth and in her ability. She believed that if SOMEBODY was going to be successful, why couldn’t that somebody be her? Yes, she believed in hard work and tenacity but she also believed in her own significance.

You’ve probably figured out by now that Louise is me. (Louise is my middle name.)

Call it confidence. Call it faith. Call it courage or call it boldness.

I like to call it resolution. The firm resolve that you ARE significant and therefore you treat yourself as such, learning along the way that most people will mirror what they witness. When they witness your star shining brightly, they will treat you like a star.

Your significance is all up to you.

My friend still has not taken any brave and daring action. But I know she is THINKING about it. She is rearranging her embedded beliefs and conjuring a new mindset, one filled with possibility and enthusiasm. Because life is far more fun when your fear of failure is outweighed by your faith in yourself.

Be significant.

Because you will be. When you believe that you are.