In Praise Of The Skinny Mirror

I am a proud owner of a skinny mirror. It took me a while to find the perfect one but find it I did. It wasn’t expensive. It was pretty. And it was skinny. It’s probably my favourite piece of furniture.

Okay that is perhaps not true. My bed is my fave. My baby grand is a close second. But damn, that skinny mirror is way up there. I love my skinny mirror.

I love it so much I actually have two. The first I discovered in my mother’s flat. It was gilded (not really my thing) but holy moly was it skinny. Every time I visited and was sure to steal a quick glance and I was always delighted. I mean seriously, who doesn’t like a skinny mirror?

Now if you’re a dude you’re probably shaking your head in exasperation, thinking “what the heck is a skinny mirror? Isn’t all reflective glass by its very nature thin? What the heck is this broad talking about?”

Well, if you’re a chick you already know what I’m talking about. This is a chick thing.
In my new home my one skinny mirror stands at the end of the upstairs hallway. I was recently giving a girlfriend a tour and when she saw herself she immediately exclaimed “Oh my goodness – a skinny mirror! Look at my legs!”

Now this girl is slimmer than slim and the last thing she actually needs is a skinny mirror. But there it was! And she recognized it right away.

My other skinny mirror – the one I inherited from my mother, gilded and all – is in my front hallway. There is method to my madness. The upstairs mirror is just outside my bedroom. When I get dressed I check myself out (come on, we all do it).

Then when I leave the house, there’s another opportunity to review if I so choose.
I will tell you, when I leave my home I typically feel pretty darn fine.

And that, dear fellows, is the point of a skinny mirror.

A skinny mirror makes you look thinner than you actually are. At least that’s what THEY say. But really what the hell do THEY know? I choose to believe that my skinny mirrors are telling the truth. All those other fucking mirrors are FAT mirrors. They are the big fat liars. THEY are the ones who set out to hurt our feelings and undermine our confidence. They are evil and horrid and seven years bad luck be damned deserve to be smashed.

Skinny mirrors are our friends.

I have recently made acquaintance with a shop owner who sells lovely clothing. I visit her several times a year and invariably make a few purchases. But here’s the problem. In her shop there exists a fat mirror. I’m not talking a “regular” mirror (IF such a thing exists and who really knows?). I am talking FAT. Now to me this seems counterproductive to her business. Who is going to pop in, try on a dress, look into that deceiving speculum and say “Sure I’ll take it. It makes me look fat!”

No one. That’s who.

She and I have chatted about this. I suggested a skinny mirror might work more in her favour. She replied that she simply could not mislead her beloved patrons. I retorted (or was that snorted?) that she was already misleading us because that fat mirror was a liar, plain and simple. Get rid of it!

(for the record, her other mirrors were acceptable)

So here’s the point (of course I have one) – mirrors, much like people, come in ALL shapes and sizes. It’s like a fricking fun-house. Every time you look at your own reflection it’s a crap-shoot what will look back at you. If I knew anything about physics I’m sure I could weigh in here on WHY this is the case but I don’t and the bottom line is IT DOESN’T”T MATTER! There are a million mirrors and a million reflections. HOW you allow those reflections to define you is what matters.

Let me repeat – HOW you allow those reflections to define you is what matters.

Whether those reflections are in mirrors, ponds, a store window or someone else’s eyes, how YOU allow those reflections to define you is the ONLY thing that matters. The only thing that will carry you through the day. The only thing that will feed or diminish your self-confidence.

And THAT is why I have not one but TWO skinny mirrors. They are my friends. They make me happy. They help me leave the house smiling. They reflect not only my body but my heart and my soul. They bring me joy.

I truly have no idea which mirror is telling the truth. How do we actually know the skinny mirror is not real and the regular mirror is not fake and the fat mirror is just the devil’s work?

I don’t know. Again, I don’t care.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Choose a career that brings you fulfillment. Live in a place that delivers joy. Listen to music and read books that fill your soul. Eat and drink well and with gratitude.

And buy a skinny mirror. Or two.

You deserve it.

About winesoakedramblings - The Blog of Vickie van Dyke

Writing is therapy. Wine is therapy. Writing while drinking wine is the best therapy. Reading while drinking can also be fun. Listening while drinking is also fun so check out my podcast! And then there's that book (memoir) that I wrote: Confessions of a Potty-Mouthed Chef: How to Cheat, Eat and be Happy! My life has provided me with a wealth of inspiration. Maybe something here will inspire you too? ~Vickie
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