Okay, sorry for the foul language. I do have a potty mouth and believe it or not I do try to keep it in check, but not today. And not because of the Corona virus pandemic – that is what it is (hello Universe). But the morons who can’t quite figure out how to respond to our new normal … well that makes me cuss. A lot.

Yesterday (Sunday) I spent an hour in church. Not a four-walled church or a physical gathering but my own personal temple which happens to be … the great outdoors. I walked in the glorious sunshine, alone and content, for almost an hour. I saw Georgian Bay churning up spectacular waves, I saw ice on the lakeside trees shimmering in the morning sun, I saw the bluest sky I’ve seen this year and I saw an empty church parking lot. Like, a “real” church. Because of course real congregation is now forbidden.

I was SO happy that my communion with a higher power doesn’t need bricks, pews, crosses and altars. So happy that no virus and no government and no law can mandate my fellowship with the divine. The divine within me and the divine all around me. My walk was truly heavenly.

And then today, after a snowy white start and more and more bad news, my province announced we are shutting down. Essential services only. It’s not total quarantine. We can still get food, medicine and wine (thank goodness!) and as far as I know I CAN STILL GO FOR MY DAILY WALK.

But I’m not sure. And I’m not sure for how long. Because the next step is full lock-down. FULL lock-down like Italy.

I cannot even imagine.

I can handle closed stores and limited live human interaction. I can handle ordering my groceries online (I love shopping for food) and lots of phone calls instead of visits. I can handle working from home (I already do) and reading tons of books (yay Kindle!). But … I’m not sure that I will be able to handle NOT walking outside.

Even when I broke my ankle ten years ago, the MINUTE I was able to put my foot down (literally) I was back on the sidewalk. Crutches, cane, the arm of a friend – I did it. Because walking outside is my thing. I don’t own a treadmill and I don’t go to the gym. I walk outdoors. Preferably alone with my music and my soul.

But now I go walk and then I see photos online. Crowded beaches, folks out eating and shopping, stupid American presidents, the list is endless. And I think “I’m going to lose it. I am going to lose my church. Because some moronic, self-absorbed, unaware group of FUCKTARDS don’t want to listen and actually HEAR and then ACT, I am most likely going to lose my church.”

Yes. Poor selfish me.

Stay the fuck at home people. Unless you are one of the amazing and selfless front-line humans keeping our world afloat, PLEASE stay the fuck at home. Don’t invite friends over. Don’t bend the rules just a little. Don’t believe for a minute you are above and beyond. You are not. I am not.

Find your own sanctuary. Dwell in it in peace. Do unto others. Do the absolute best you can do for the human race (and apparently now gorillas too). Do it with grace and gratitude. Just do it.

Stay the fuck at home.